


Carmilla D.E.B.S. AU

by australopithecushomo



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types, D.E.B.S. (2004)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Crossover, D.E.B.S. AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-05-21 15:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/australopithecushomo/pseuds/australopithecushomo
Summary: There is a secret test hidden within the SAT. The test does not measure a student's aptitude at reading, writing, and arithmetic. It measures a student's innate ability to lie, cheat, fight, and kill. Those who score well are recruited into a secret paramilitary academy. Some call them seductresses. Some call them spies. Fools call them innocent. They call themselves D.E.B.S.Carmilla D.E.B.S. AU - I'd recommend watching D.E.B.S. before reading this however you probably don't have to do so.Someone on tumblr sent ukulelekatie an ask about finding a carmilla debs au that hadnt been abandoned before it was completed. I volunteered to write it (cause im bored out of my mind and need to do something besides binge watch stuff on netflix and hulu this summer).---------------------This will follow the same general plot as the movie "D.E.B.S." except all the main characters are replaced with carmilla characters. Carmilla is Lucy Diamond, Laura is Amy, etc. etc.[The rating may change as the story progresses, it'll be dependent on whether I feel like writing smut (and how detailed it gets) when I write the sex scene]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone on tumblr sent @ukulelekatie an ask about finding a carmilla debs au that hadnt been abandoned before it was completed. I volunteered to write it (cause im bored out of my mind and need to do something besides binge watch stuff netflix and hulu this summer). 
> 
> I will continue this and try to update fairly frequently if it is well received. Please comment and let me know your thoughts. 
> 
> I'm experimenting with writing it in first person but im unsure if i like that. Point of view may shift in future chapters. I didn't have anybody proofread this so please let me know if you catch typos!

_ There is a secret test hidden within the SAT. The test does not measure a student's aptitude at reading, writing, and arithmetic. It measures a student's innate ability to lie, cheat, fight, and kill. Those who score well are recruited into a secret paramilitary academy. Some call them seductresses. Some call them spies. Fools call them innocent. They call themselves D.E.B.S. _

 

The start to my day was fairly typical. Alarms blaring, one of our superiors barking out instructions via a loudspeaker, Betty being reprimanded for having a boy upstairs, Danny calling begging me to take her back, and the entire house hurrying to not be late for our briefing. 

 

“Danny seriously, it's not a good time,” I grumbled into the phone.

 

“When?! When is a good time?!” she nagged. 

 

“Stop calling,” I deadpanned and hung up the phone and ran to the car. Mel, Perry, and Betty were already there and ready to go. I hopped in and the wheels were rolling before I had even reached for my seatbelt. 

 

“I broke up with Danny,” I announced. It wasn't directed for anyone in particular to hear, I was just letting them know since they'd find out soon anyways. 

 

“What?” Betty asked. 

 

“I broke up with Danny.” 

 

“Why's that sweetie?” Perry asked. 

 

“She was just so boring, not to mention overprotective.”

 

“She's an ass,” Mel chimed in. 

 

“I like her, I think she's sweet,” countered Betty.

 

“I'm just not in love,” I sighed.

 

“WHAT?” Betty yelled over the increasingly loud traffic.

 

“I SAID, I WANT TO BE IN LOVE!” the car was pulling into a parking lot and the traffic noise faded away before I responded, leaving me shouting loudly in a quiet parking lot. 

 

Mel turned off the engine and spun around with an eyebrow cocked, “Why are you yelling?” 

 

I huffed out a sigh and followed everybody into the diner. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The D.E.B.S. have their morning briefing with professor Cochrane and are assigned a surveillance mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I'm glad people seem to have liked the first chapter. 
> 
> I finished this chapter over an hour ago but couldn't post it because ao3 was slow. To keep in the loop for future updates follow @elisebaumansarms on tumblr. There are no current posts because until now I haven't used that url but I will post news about fic updates there as well as try to answer asks. 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is shorter than I hoped it would be, writing a fic that closely follows a movie script is a lot more time consuming than I anticipated. While the updates are short I plan to try to update daily! I'm still playing around with how close to the movie dialogue my fic will stay. It will continue following the plot however future chapters may take more liberty with dialogue (as i write dialogue that will better fit the carmilla characters). 
> 
> Ok, I'll stop babbling at you all now! Enjoy!

Chapter 2:

 

We sat down at our normal table in the D.E.B.S. academy diner and greeted Professor Cochrane. 

 

“Hey Professor C,” Betty greeted.

 

“Don’t call me that.” 

 

“Good Morning Professor C.”

 

“Hi Prof C.”

 

“Sup Professor C.”

 

Professor Cochrane didn’t respond, she merely pursed her lips and waited until we all had ordered our typical breakfasts.

 

“We have a special guest with us today, Mr. Vordenberg,” Cochrane told us.

 

Vordenberg was head of the academy, however he was a very private person and I had rarely even seen him, let alone spoke with the man. 

 

Vordenberg appeared before us as if he had been beamed down from the enterprise in an episode of star trek. I was unsure if he was really in the diner or if this was some sort of projection. Regardless, he was as stern and cynical looking as I remembered. 

 

Perry sat up straight and spoke “Sir, may I just say it is a…”

 

“No time for pleasantries,” the man snapped and held up a hand, “Cochrane, an urgent matter has come to my attention,” we all sat upright and listened intently, “Carmilla Karnstein is back in the states.”

 

“Oh my god,” Mel sighed.

 

“Shit,” Betty interjected. 

 

“You’re kidding, I’m writing my thesis on her,” perhaps I was a bit too excited to hear a criminal mastermind with just about every sort of crime on her rapt sheet was back in the country but this would give me an opportunity to gather more research for my thesis.

 

“I expect to be kept in the loop on this one,” Vordenberg stated, “Now let’s show some hustle!” he smiled and clapped his hands obnoxiously. He disappeared as if he had been beamed back up to the U.S.S. Enterprise. 

 

“I can’t believe she’s back,” I said to the table.

 

“Who’s Carmilla Karnstein?” Perry interrupted.

 

Cochrane pulled up a projection from the D.E.B.S information retrieval system. In front of us was a file featuring what appeared to be a surveillance photo of a young woman with dark wavy hair. 

 

“Carmilla Karnstein,” Cochrane started, “She’s the last surviving member of the Styrian crime syndicate. Her family did battle with the Strakas in a vicious blood feud that lasted a decade. After her Mother’s death she inherited the keys to her kingdom: illegal arms running, smuggling, gambling…” Cochrane listed off, “and her specialty: diamond theft.”

 

Various news headlines, photographs, and files moved across the projection as Cochrane continued, “She is protected by a loyal band of mercs, led by this person: Lafontaine,” a mugshot was featured on the projection. 

 

Cochrane continued as we listened, “Three attempts have been made to apprehend Karnstein. All have failed. She went underground a number of years ago and has not been seen or heard from since.”

 

“Yikes,” Perry added.

 

“That’s not even the bad part,” I countered.

 

“What’s the bad part?” Perry inquired.

 

Cochrane responded, “No one has ever fought her and lived to tell about it.”

 

“Oh!” Perry gasped softly.

 

It was now that our waitress interrupted the briefing to bring us our food. Once she left Mel spoke, “So um, why do you think she’s back in town?”

 

Cochrane raised a hand to change the file displayed on the projection, “Our intel suggests she is in town to meet this woman: Elle Sheridan. Ex-KGB, now freelance assassin. They’re scheduled to meet tonight, 20 hundred hours. Find out what Carmilla is up to. Strictly Surveillance. Do not try to apprehend her yourselves. Melanippe, you’re in charge,” Cochrane turned towards me, “Laura, you’re second And D.E.B.S.,” Cochrane paused, “Be careful.”

I looked up at the images of Carmilla Karnstein and Elle Sheridan displayed on the projection,”What does a reclusive criminal mastermind want with a Russian trained killer?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and feedback! Even if I don't respond I do read them all! If you'd like to ask questions and get faster responses send me an ask @elisebaumansarms on tumblr. I will respond to asks on tumblr far more readily because I will get notifications to my phone. 
> 
> Once again as I said previously, I did not have anyone proofread so please alert me to any typos!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf has set up a date tonight for Carmilla with Elle, the russian assassin. She really doesn't want to go and Laf has to convince her otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you will notice this chapter is from Carmilla's point of view. The remainder of the story will probably jump between Laura's and Carmilla's point of view. Probably mostly Laura's, but I have to write from Carmilla's point of view when Laura isn't in a scene and I prefer writing first person. I will indicated point of view change by stating point of view in the beginning of each chapter and informing you of p.o.v. shifts if they happen at any point throughout a chapter. 
> 
> I'm sorry this update is once again so short. I'm trying to work my way through the movie scene by scene.

Chapter 3:

 

**Carmilla p.o.v.**

 

Lafontaine walks up to me and pulls up an image of a woman on the screen in front of us, “You’re scheduled to meet her at 8pm.”

 

“Where'd you find her?” I asked. 

 

“Zeta tipped us,” they continued, “said she's available. She's in from Prague, relocating stateside.”

 

“Assassin?” I ask.

 

“Yep. “

 

“Where's the meet?”

 

“The anglerfish. Trendy yet discreet,” they smile a bit. 

 

“Cancel it,” I sigh and walk away. 

 

Laf chases after me, “Why? It's all set up!”

 

“I don't do blind dates,” I groan.

 

They sighed, “Look, it's not a blind date if you know what they look like.”

 

“Tell her I’m not coming. Say I came down with something.”

 

“Carmilla it's been two years! You have to get out there,” they said exasperated. I know they just wanna help but I really wish they'd stop trying to set me up with girls. 

 

“I went out with that drummer, what was her name, Elsie? Or something. The girl that talked loud.”

 

Laf rolled their eyes at me, “You didn't go out with her. We all went out together. And then you lied and said you had food poisoning and you went home early!” 

 

“Yeah well, she talked really loud, like even when you were right next to her,” I tried to defend myself. 

 

Lafontaine shook their head, “I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to drown yourself in your little schemes to destroy the world but you need to get over it. You were dumped.”

 

“I was not dumped.”

 

“Oh you were dumped hard. And that sucks. And you took your time off to go to Antarctica or whatever--”

 

“Reykjavik. It's in Iceland…”

 

“--but now it's time to get back in the game, Carmilla. You've got a date tonight with a beautiful russian assassin and you're gonna show up.” 

 

I huffed and they glared at me, “Carmilla,” they said as if scolding a teenager.

 

“Fine. Ok, I'll go. I'll be there,” I conceded. I turned away from them to look through my closet.  

 

“Just promise me you'll be open,” Laf says from behind me.

 

“Open to what?” I asked annoyed. 

 

“Open to love,” they said with a shit-eating grin that only my best friend could get away with. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question for you all: would you rather I keep posting 300-600 words 3-6 times a week or would you rather I wait and upload a couple thousand words once a week? It will be the same amount of writing per week, I'd just be posting it less often and in bigger chunks. I know as a reader I like when chapters are at least 1k. Give me your feedback. Leave comments here or send me an ask on tumblr @elisebaumansarms.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is on a date. The debs do recon. Danny won't leave Laura alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for abandoning this fic. To be honest, my heart really isn't in it. I'm considering retiring it. Writing something with a predetermined plot is honestly really boring for me, and having to constantly read the screenplay transcript takes all the fun out of writing dialogue. It makes character development so boring and flat. I'll only add to this fic if enough people REALLY want it. Otherwise I very well may just abandon it.

Laura’s POV:

 

Later that night we were all perched on these weird recon seats that repelled down from the ceiling. We were at “The Anglerfish”. To me it seemed like an odd place for an international super villain to meet with an assassin, but who was I to judge. 

 

Mel was talking to me about some sort of opportunity to get recruited for the international bureau, but I kind of brushed the conversation aside, this seemed like a distraction from the mission, also it kind of conflicted with the art school I had entertained the idea of applying for. 

 

During this conversation I pulled out a pair of binoculars and zoomed in on Carmilla Karnstein. This girl was even more gorgeous and intimidating in person than she was in the many surveillance photos I’d seen. She sat across the table from the russian assassin, engaged in conversation. Carmilla seemed rather disinterested.

 

It was just then that Perry’s intercom went off, “d.e.b.s.” she answered.

 

“ _ Mel, put her on, _ ” it was Danny. 

 

“It’s Danny,” Perryl sighed. 

 

“I don’t wanna talk to her,” I replied, even though I knew Danny could probably hear me over the intercom. 

 

“She doesn’t wanna talk to you,” Perry relayed.  

 

“ _ Bullshit! I need to talk to her, _ ” Danny grumbled over the intercom. 

 

It was then that Danny repelled down from the ceiling next to me, “What the fuck Danny, we’re on a mission.”

 

“You think you’re the only ones following Karnstein? Everyone’s here: Homeland, FBI, CIA…”

 

I glanced around and noticed clusters of agents from other agencies suspended from the ceiling of the restaurant. Well, hopefully Carmilla Karnstein or her hired assassin don’t look up, because they’ve currently got quite a little audience for their little rendezvous.

 

“Could you guys excuse us for a minute?” Danny addressed the other DEBS, who moved over a few feet. 

 

“Why do you have to be so annoying?” I grumbled. I didn’t want to have this conversation anymore. 

 

“Well when I get dumped for no reason, excuse me for being a little hostile,” Danny said indignantly. 

 

“It’s not for no reason,” I huffed. 

 

“Then give me one,” god I really wish Danny would just leave me alone, I’m trying not to hurt her more than I have to.

 

“I just want more,” I tried to leave it vague. I figured telling her she’s boring and than I’m not in love with her was a little more than she needed to hear at the moment. 

 

“More what?” dammit Danny, just drop it. 

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Is there somebody else?” why does everyone always think there has to be someone else?

 

“No.”

 

“Because if there’s somebody else…”

 

“I’m not in love with you!” I interrupted her. She looked hurt. What did she want from me? She wanted honesty, so I gave her honesty. 

 

After a moment of silence, Danny grumbled, “I guess no one’s good enough for little miss ‘perfect score’.”

 

I turned away from Danny and looked away. I scooted over back next to the rest of my team. I looked back down at Carmilla.

 

“I never thought I’d see her in person,” I mused. 

 

Danny appeared beside me again, “Can I have my bracelet back?”

 

Is she serious? Why does she have to do this now? Here? On a mission?

 

“What?”

 

“My Dad got it when he graduated Quantico,” ugh really Danny? This couldn’t wait til after the mission?

 

I removed the bracelet and when Danny went to take it from me she missed it and it fell. It fell...and landed directly on Carmilla Karnstein’s plate. Great. This is just perfect. 

 

The super villain glanced up and narrowed her eyes, appraising the situation before immediately ducking under the table for cover as the bullets began to fly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. If you really really want me to actually continue this fic then please tell me. Message me on tumblr: elisebaumansarms.tumblr.com
> 
> This carmilla fandom seems to be dying down and to be honest its a bit depressing writing fics for a shrinking fandom. If you really want to read more of this than I need you to tell me, otherwise it's nearly impossible for me to motivate my annoying adhd brain to sit down and write.


End file.
